12 Step Program - From Samsara Digital Gravity to Embodied Natural Grace
A framework for releasing vice frequencies and energetic capture from your energy field
When I walked into a recovery program for addiction it was the first time I felt like I faced something I couldn’t beat myself. I had hit rock bottom, my life was in shambles, and I knew the severity of the situation before me. I had tried and failed multiple times to release the gravity of addiction from my daily cycle. Despite short periods of abstinence, I would eventually collapse again. I’d create enough distance and new routines until I felt like I was on top of the world and I could manage my addictions. I tried every other alternative known to man to manage my vice. Trying to manage or beat vice just turned into a feeding frenzy pattern. There were times I did feel possessed and disoriented by the addiction patterns. That made me even more frustrated because I didn’t want to think anything had power over me or that I was a failure.
When I first fully admitted that I was powerless over controlling my addictions through my own rational power…. I truly felt a dark, possessive energy come out of me. In front of a group of strangers, I was more vulnerable than I had ever been. I cried, stuttered, my body was shaking, and my breath was frantic. My withdrawal symptoms were so bad I probably should have been monitored by a medical professional. I told these people about the darkness that I had keep hidden from everyone my entire life and they didn’t judge me nor flee in fear. I voiced words I had never uttered out loud. They gave me hope and instead of shaming me like my non-addict friends and family. The people in that recovery room said, “I was right where you were years ago. Keep coming back and listen to our stories. If I can get sober from where I was at, anyone can do it. You too will become healed if you work the program.” After I left that meeting, I felt lighter in that moment then at any point I could remember.
For many years I struggled with questions such as, why do I have to be different? Why can’t I just manage a little vice like seemingly billions of other humans do without a problem? I didn’t want to accept that I was different from others or weaker. As a man in present society, perceived weakness will get you banished from society and from many men’s circles.
Before I completed a real descent and rebirth process, I experienced a common pattern in people working recovery programs or trying to get clean on their own. When you start to starve the addiction, it returns even more hungry than before. The heavy drinker who used to drink a fifth of liquor, sobers up for a while, then goes back out, and drinking turns to a liter and then a handle. The ghost that fed on my vice gravity knew it was going to die, and it tried to take me with it. Or maybe I identified with that ghost as myself for so long that it became difficult to see the boundaries. Maybe it knew that I would go on to help a lot of people’s lives and take vice food away from a lot of unseen ghosts. I don’t really know for sure. When I opened my mind and heart up to new possibilities it extended equidistantly in all directions, and I had to learn to navigate this new change.
I can’t overstate the importance of grief work. Addiction circles are flooded with people who can’t grieve. Modern man hasn’t been taught to grieve but rather carry it like a burden forever. We don’t talk about death and we suppress the energies that need released. We can’t white knuckle through sobriety, and we can’t be reborn if you don’t let the person possessed by vice descend and pass on. I had to grieve many forms of death and the choices that I made before the more graceful version of me was reborn. I had many dreams installed into me by this modern material world and those timelines and desires had to die to allow me to live from a present cycle one day at a time. It works if you work it, and you are worth it. You give this world meaning and purpose with your unique being and perspective. The first and only weapon of inversion gravity is doubt. If I made it through the rebirth, anyone can.
The 12 Steps
I’d like to share a modified version of the twelve steps that is aimed at what I’d call the modern addiction gravity engine. Addiction isn’t just limited to drugs. It crosses over into any pattern that generates vice gravity and severs us from a relationship with the spiritual world and ever present now. Gravity attempts to bind us to matter, time, fear, and fixed identity. The bio-digital era of advanced technology is accelerating that at a rapid pace. Its extended addiction to politics, celebrities, AI companions, virtual reality porn, capitalism, images, idols, and man-made horrors beyond our comprehension.
I believe that if someone truly works the 12-step program honestly and earnestly, they will have a sober spiritual experience. I have seen a lot of miraculous things in my life. I’ve been in mystery schools, sat with gurus and masters, and taken plant medicines that opened my being to unseen worlds. Despite all of that, working the 12-step program was a spiritual experience unlike anything offered by those other structures. A power greater than me and beyond my rational mind’s comprehension, came to Earth to walk beside me every day and helped heal me from a darkness I couldn’t beat on my own. People came to my aid when I needed it most and I leaned into trusting that my guardian angel was guiding me. I came back from what I thought was a death sentence. I hope this helps someone else who may be dealing with collapse cycles and is ready for a rebirth into a lighter, more graceful life.